I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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