I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
okay pat passed out under dana's car
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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