who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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