respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
