Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
