my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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