Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
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