Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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