Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
