how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
