I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
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