U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
