i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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