The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Bring me that man meat
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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