Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
