he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
i believe in u and ur pee
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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