Non-Jews are for practice
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
