this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize
