I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
