once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
