thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
