I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
