I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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