dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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