I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
