so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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