I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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