I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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