i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
