christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
