If that was your dad, he is hot
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
