somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
