you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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