he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Randomize
