i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
