Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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