There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
