im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
