Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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