yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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