But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
