Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
