: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
