we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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