I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
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