to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
