Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
