I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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