What a fucking waste of an outfit
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
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