Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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